Stop the Press!!!!!!

So lots happening with regards to Arsenal news today. First up, and most importantly, we have our stuttering star, William Gallas, admitting how crap his form has been this season. Check it out:

I would close my eyes if I would say I am strong. That would mean I don't recognise I did have a few bad performances - as recently with my club against Hull City. Maybe I feel a little tired.

Do I experience the most difficult period since I joined Arsenal? We could say yes. Above all I miss consistency. One match is good, the other one is not so good. However, I am doing everything to get to my best again.

It gets even better though because not only do we find out that Gallas is a rubbish defender, we also find out that he's not very good at too many other things:

At school he was a right wally – he would sit at the back of the class as far away from the blackboard as possible. One day the maths teacher gave us a test – she knew that William understood nothing about maths, so she allowed him to use the textbook. But even with the book under his nose he still only got four out of 20!

That's according to some half-footballer chump who no ones ever heard of called Rotten or something like that. Rothen also goes on to say how Gallas once stole 1500 francs from another random footballer when he was like 15 or something... wow... fancy that... Captain Criminal... Criminal defending... criminal activity... you get the picture.

On the other hand we have United's Goofy telling the world what a bloody awesome player Theo Walcott is/ will be:

'When you have that pace and an eye for making runs, sometimes it does not matter what you try to do.'It is the same with Cristiano Ronaldo at Manchester United. When players like that see an opening, they are quick enough to get through it and not be caught.'Michael (Owen) was quick, direct and could score a goal. You can see that in Theo too.'

Er...hmmm.... right.... So does that mean that after the age of 25 we may never see Theo Walcott kick a football again? Bloody Hell... that's a freaking catastrophe... well at least Ferdinand is smart enough to see what everyone else saw in Theo...

Three Years Ago...

But i'm sure that Ferdinand was able to pass mathematics...

or at least get a 5/20...

In other news, Robin van Persie is out for the Dutch squad with a hamstring injury. I suspect that means he'll be out for the rest of the season for Arsenal and we can look forward to his annual run of 10 games come August next year.

More Arsenal News tomorrow...