Stop the Press!!!!!!

So lots happening with regards to Arsenal news today. First up, and most importantly, we have our stuttering star, William Gallas, admitting how crap his form has been this season. Check it out:

I would close my eyes if I would say I am strong. That would mean I don't recognise I did have a few bad performances - as recently with my club against Hull City. Maybe I feel a little tired.

Do I experience the most difficult period since I joined Arsenal? We could say yes. Above all I miss consistency. One match is good, the other one is not so good. However, I am doing everything to get to my best again.

It gets even better though because not only do we find out that Gallas is a rubbish defender, we also find out that he's not very good at too many other things:

At school he was a right wally – he would sit at the back of the class as far away from the blackboard as possible. One day the maths teacher gave us a test – she knew that William understood nothing about maths, so she allowed him to use the textbook. But even with the book under his nose he still only got four out of 20!

That's according to some half-footballer chump who no ones ever heard of called Rotten or something like that. Rothen also goes on to say how Gallas once stole 1500 francs from another random footballer when he was like 15 or something... wow... fancy that... Captain Criminal... Criminal defending... criminal activity... you get the picture.

On the other hand we have United's Goofy telling the world what a bloody awesome player Theo Walcott is/ will be:

'When you have that pace and an eye for making runs, sometimes it does not matter what you try to do.'It is the same with Cristiano Ronaldo at Manchester United. When players like that see an opening, they are quick enough to get through it and not be caught.'Michael (Owen) was quick, direct and could score a goal. You can see that in Theo too.'

Er...hmmm.... right.... So does that mean that after the age of 25 we may never see Theo Walcott kick a football again? Bloody Hell... that's a freaking catastrophe... well at least Ferdinand is smart enough to see what everyone else saw in Theo...

Three Years Ago...

But i'm sure that Ferdinand was able to pass mathematics...

or at least get a 5/20...

In other news, Robin van Persie is out for the Dutch squad with a hamstring injury. I suspect that means he'll be out for the rest of the season for Arsenal and we can look forward to his annual run of 10 games come August next year.

More Arsenal News tomorrow...

Boring Boring Internaaaaationals

Well the damn international break is well and truly in force when I have to start talking about people like Mikael Silvestre and Amaury Bischoff. The both nailed successful returns to football with a 3-2 reserve team win. Amaury is apparently skinnier than pictures post-signing suggest... Whoopee... Now I'm in no way excited about Bischoff simply because there is nothing to be excited about. I WILL, however, be excited about Silvestre because due to our relative defensive crisis (i.e. Gallas), I think the competition from Silvestre will be excellent in keeping the defenders on their toes. I also feel that he will provide the height that we need to tackle things like corners. The last two weeks have been disasters for Arsenal and I hope that we can get a huge string of Wins peppered with a draw or two (gotta be realistic here) so we can get back on track for the title challenge. We start with Everton on the 18th and gear towards Nightmare November... i'll think about what to blog tomorrow... screw international breaks...

Sunderland 1-1 Arsenal

Okay... another rubbish result...Before the game I was pretty annoyed that Starhub weren't broadcasting the game live but in hindsight, maybe it was a whole lot better. From the highlights that i've seen, we played like snot. Really, really bad. Cesc is not being... Cesc and the 4-5-1 was a pretty useless formation against a Sunderland side who decided to congest the entire midfield. Leadbitter had a cracking goal and we got one back through Cesc in the 92nd minute... this boy has the spirit and i've said it before, he's Mr. Arsenal. There's been alot said over Cesc's relative anonymity this season and his performance on Saturday probably reinforced that belief. I believe it's the midfield problem again... the one that everyone was talking about over the summer... we need a goddamn defensive midfielder... a Flamini. Denilson doesn't cut the DM role. Cesc NEEDS someone for HIM to shine. He had Gilberto and Flamini when he came to prominence and shone brightly but now, without a tackler and a go-getter, Cesc looks lethargic and not ready.

I get a sense that the patience is running thin amongst the Arsenal faithful. To win a title you DON'T drop points against teams like Hull, Fulham and Sunderland. Those are bread-and-butter games that MUST be won in preparation for the dropping of points against the big teams. I don't know how many of you out there have checked out the fixture list but we've got Chelsea, Manchester United, Aston Villa and Manchester City all in the same month for the Prem- November. These are games that will cause us to drop points. There's no denying it. We needed to rack up the points before November's death fixture list. The team needs to get it's act together and start performing like we know they are capable of rather than simply talking the talk.

Look at Liverpool. Even though I dislike them, their game against City last night was class. I only watched the second half but it was the half that mattered. 3 goals in the half won the game for them. Pool want the title. Can Arsenal match them? Will we be able to dig into our reserves to bring out the quality to lift the title? I'm doubtful at this point but time will tell...

I guess the one consolation for the weekend was that Spurs lost :D

Downing a Shot of Port

Despite the criticism, despite the firings of complacency and despite having to face angry fans, the Arsenal team pulled together to rout FC Porto 4-0. The scoreline didn't flatter the Gunners in anyway but it was the right result and showed the determination of the team to come back from a setback (a la Hull City) and get the right result.

The game started a little bit unnervingly with Cristiano Rodriguez's header thumping the bar and Lisandro's shot getting cleared of the line by Clichy (he seems to be the chief clear-the-ball-of-the-liner does'nt he?). After that though, it was Arsen-all. On 31 mins, Adebayor made a great low cross to pick out the oncoming van Persie who smashed it home. Ten minutes later, van Persie's cross turned out the provider for Goal #2 with Adebayor heading home. Fucking amazing header eh? It kept bouncing up down up down before going in. The Porto guys were in shock! Classic!

The restart just made the Gunners gather their confidence and soon enough, a defensive debacle let van Persie toe poke it home from a pretty tight angle. 3-0. The game wasn't done though, with Adebayor smashing in a penalty after Nicklas Bendtner got pulled down in the box... has anyone noticed that Adebayor ALWAYS shoots bottom right for his penalties? My brother is in awe that no one has ever saved a penalty of his...

Misses were aplently though and I think that was of a little concern as the score could have easily been 7-0 or something. Both Nasri and Walcott missed from six yards and though Walcott was mesmerising the whole night, missing from six yards was extremely frustrating for the fans

and reminded us that Walcott is still a kid... never mind... but it would have been nice to cap his performance. Nasri's miss was a little more shocking given the general accuracy of his play but I suppose even Nasri was having an off day and rightfully so after a debacle such as this:

THE SAMIR NASRI SAGA

Enjoy the rest of your day you Amazingly Artistic Amicable Ardent Arsefans!

Port-0

So tonight is a very important night. It's a night to see if Arsenal have the mental capacity to overcome a very technical side in the form of Porto from Portugal. Porto are no pushovers having won the Champions League in 2004. Although they may LOOK like a pale shadow of themselves, having sold their talisman Ricardo Quaresma over the close season to Inter Milan, they are still an attacking side that could easily spring a shock result over a pretty tattered Arsenal.

Our squad, as announced by BBC looks like this:

Almunia, Clichy, Toure, Gallas, Sagna, Fabregas, Denilson, Nasri, Walcott, Adebayor, Van Persie, Fabianski, Djourou, Vela, Bendtner, Wilshere, Eboue, Silvestre.

Now Wenger said that he'll ring the changes tonight and golly, I sure hope he does it after the fuck all game against Hull on Saturday. The return of Samir Nasri is like a breath of fresh air. We haven't really seen him play too much with Cesc but I think that just like Flamini, Nasri will link up well with Cesc and we just might see Cesc return to his glorious best, albeit in a slightly different manner as Flamoney was an out-and-out defensive player. Let's see. I think the gaffer finally sees how fucked we are when it comes to corners. Kinda like Rosicky playing 3 games in a row for us because at some point you know he probably has to be stretchered off. Our strike force on RvP and Ade looked nonexistant on the weekend and I think there'll be a change there. I was a bit concerned hearing Kolo Toure say:

"I was scared to play the game, sometimes people, not the players, play the game before it's started and that's a problem because there are no small teams in the Premiership. Against Man United everybody thinks it's going to be a tight game but when you play against Hull it's harder because you are expected to win and score in the first minute. But it doesn't happen like that. I was scared against Hull because there are no easy games."

Right. Now I'm fucking scared too. If a player like Kolo Toure gets scared playing for a team like Arsenal against smaller teams then what about the fans? I honestly don't believe that a comment like that could come from a guy like Kolo. It will obviously have a resonance effect on the rest of the team and who knows? Against Sp*rs in October we may have to send out our 12 year olds because our first teamers are wearing pink skirts and mascarra and are too scared to go into a tackle with wankers like Fattom Hundredstone.

Anyway for tonight's game I expect the line-up to look something like this:

GK: Almunia
DEF: Sagna, Silvestre, Gallas, Clichy
MID: Eboue, Denilson, Fabregas, Nasri
ATT: Adebayor, Bendtner

Prediction: 2-0 to the Arsenal!

Come on boys! Stop being scared! Put the Hull result behind and let's go for an unbelievable show!

I'm Pissed Off

Well the weekend was fucking shit wasn't it? That was the WORST Arsenal performance I have seen in ages... it trumps the 2-1 losses to Boro last season and the season before... that's saying alot. Full credit to Hull, they played with passion, fervour and determination, fully deserving of the three points they got. As for our lot, many things need to be addressed.

First off, our defence. Gallas needs to be dropped. We have conceded 3 goals from corners this season and Gallas can be blamed for ALL of them. He is simply not good enough. His placement and aerial ability are rubbish. He came from Chelski with a massive reputation and he simply hasn't delivered. Not once. Gallas on the bench. I would go so far as to say Mikael Silvestre should partner Kolo Toure cos Mickey is as tall as Adebayor and he is powerful in the air. We have seen his prowess when he used to play for Manure and if he can replicate that for Arsenal, I don't see why he shouldn't start for us instead of William Gallas.

That brings me to the issue of the captaincy. Arsenal's captain should be Cesc Fabregas. Who gives a shit that he's only 21. The fact is he is one of the best midfielders in the game and he truly deserves being captain. Gallas cannot command the team. He does not lead nor does he motivate and rally the troops. Cesc can do it. He is the keystone of the team and just his physical presence (he could play like shit) but just being there, he can make things happen... the team is lifted.

The problem against Hull was complacency. Sheer complacency. We're Arsenal. 3 points should be easy in a game like this right? WRONG. I honestly believe that if we fielded our Carling Cup side against Hull, we would have got the three points. The Carling Cup Kids (CCK) have that desire and burn to win TOGETHER. To play FOR EACH OTHER and to STAY TOGETHER. Is the first team a bit full of themselves? Look at Robin van Persie. A class act but you could FEEL his arrogance on Saturday through his relative anonymity. He was selfish, didn't pass and took wild shots. Things like that don't happen with the CCK. Quite the opposite in fact.

Wenger says we could be looking at significant changes for the Euro tie against Porto on Tuesday. Gooners are incensed and Arsenal need to play like a group of fucking heroes to smother the anger that us fans are feeling now. A preview tomorrow... i'm pissed off...

A Dent In A Ship's Hull

Afternoon all!

What a weekend this is going to be!


I can't wait for tomorrow because it's just going to be fucking awesome! The F1 night race qualifying round is tomorrow and I'm looking forward to that cos I managed to get a ticket...


Onto more serious issues though...


Right-o! Arsenal! I think we're going to see a slightly (only slightly) different line up from the gaffer this week. Although he says Clichy is fit, I'm not sure he's going to be risked. Song is going to have a fitness test before kick-off. Surprisingly there isn't any information on Samir Nasri but we hope he's ok. After the showing of our kids the other day, Arsene could be presented with a bit of a selection dilemma. Does he rest his big guns for the game against Porto in mid-week or does he go all out and field the strongest side we have?


The last time we beat Hull was in 1988 and we ran out 5-1 winners... times have changed however and I think Hull are a decent side who may cause us some problems. Windass is their obvious goal threat and though unproven relatively at Prem level, we know he's a frickin huge guy who looks more rugby than football to be honest. They've got some pretty decent players in Geovanni, Boateng, Ricketts, King, McShane and Stelios so expect some intesnity. To call Hull the twighlight players club may be accurate but we all know that on their day, each of the players I have mentioned above can do some damage.


I'm still a little concerned about the central defensive partnership of Gallas and Toure and Adebayor's ability to stay onside and finish. If Ade can deliver the same finishing ability that he showed last season, we're in business.

The possible team line-up:


GK: Almunia
DEF: Sagna, Toure, Gallas, Silvestre
MID: Eboue, Fabregas, Denilson, Nasri (or Walcott depending on Nasri's fitness)
ATT: van Persie, Adebayor


SUBS: Vela, Bendtner, Djourou, Walcott (see above), Gibbs, Song, Wilshere


Prediction: Arsenal to run out winners with a score of 3-0.

COULD HE BE THE ONE?

A Quiet Arsenal Day

Well there's really nothing going on in the Arsenal world today. I think people are still reeling from the 6-0 masterclass against Sheffield... that second Vela goal was sexy...

Speaking of Vela, the lad has really got his head screwed on right. Just listen to this:

"We are very close as a group. We have a strong friendship - it's almost like we are a family. You can see that from the way in which we are playing. All of the players looked as if they have a great future."

Wow! Very cool!

The rest of the Carling Cup fixtures were played out last night... I was pretty dissapointed that Spurs won... bastards... I was banking on another loss! They have been pretty consistent this season... LLDLLD or something before this shocking win. Never mind. They're still bottom of the table and I'm not sure whether that will change this weekend.

The Weekend... hmmmm.... televised Arsenal again... This time we play Hull City and some ealy team news suggests Mikael Silvestre could start with Clichy not having trained this week due to the tackle he received from some scumbag last weekend at the Reebok, no prizes for guessing who. Samir Nasri could also return and take his rightful place on the left wing...rightful anymore? A full preview tomorrow...

The Kindergarten Kids

Arsenal's latest crop of Kindergarteners will do amazingly well if last night's 6-0 rout of Sheffield United was anything to go by. Now the game wasn't shown in Singapore and as I understand, it was the same in the UK and I've read that some Gooners overseas were pretty pissed off about this, as was I. Nevertheless, I managed to catch all the goals on my iPhone and what a phenomenal performance from what I saw. The team wasn't afraid to go forward and just attack, attack, attack in true Arsenal style. The pairing of Djourou and Song at the back seemed pretty solid and the likes of Keiran Gibbs and Gavin Hoyte (who is apparently faster that Theo Walcott... is it possible?) contributed both in the attacking and defensive departments. Here's a little summary of each goal:

Bendtner '31- After some fantastic work between Fran Merida and Carlos Vela, Bendtner popped up outside the box to fire a stinger past keeper Paddy Kenny. 1-0 to the Arsenal!

Bendtner '42- After some fantastic running and a clever backheel from our
£5 million signing Aaron Ramsey from Cardiff City, Nicky B finished cleverly. 2-0.

Vela '45- Bendtner turned provider for this one, lobbing the ball over the Blades' defence for Vela to run and expertly finish past the keeper. 3-0 at half-time.

Vela '50- An insane goal by Vela who chips the keeper from close-range and leaves the keeper, Paddy Kenny on his arse. 4-0 to the ARSE-nal!!!

Wilshere '57- Lil' Jackie collects the ball from a corner and drills it home from just outside the box. Delightful! 5-0!

Vela '87- The irresistable Mexican picks up Ramsey's smooth pass and slots it home. 6-0 to the Arsenal! The Game's Done!

What a fantastic game from our young guns! I genuinely believe this young crop can go on to ridiculous heights. Bendtner has been irresistable based on Saturday's and yesterday's performances. Ramsey has slotted into the side seamlessly. In Jack Wilshere I feel that we have the biggest talent in English football in progress. Djourou has looked really solid when he has played for Arsenal at centre back while Gibbs has continued to impress since we first saw him against Inter Milan in the Emirates Cup in 2007 when he made a fool of the Inter right wing. Vela is just... fucking unbelievable. There's a reason why I printed his name and number on my Arsenal home kit and he is just proving what a class act he is. To think he can get better is pretty scary at this point and he will really be pushing RvP for a starting berth in a couple of months once he has got a few more games under his belt. I leave you with the Class of 2008:

Wearetopoftheleaguesaywearetopoftheleague!

WOOOOHHHOOOOO!!!! The euphoria of being back on top feels just... I dunno... euphoric to say the least. The weekend pretty much complimented Arsenal's needs in terms of results for the team and for the rest of the Premier League. A 1-1 draw between Chelsea and ManU and a pretty hilarious 0-0 stalemate between Liverpool and Stoke catapulted us to the top. To round it all off I woke up this morning to find out that Spurs drew 0-0 to Wigan! Fantastic! Now what would happen if they got relegated?.... just food for thought....

BOLTON GAME ANALYSIS: Overall it was a good performance from the team. Coming back from a goal down to score two quickfire goals in a couple of minutes really saw the team drawing on their reserves of desire to win the Prem. The player ratings really sum it up:

Almunia-9 MOTM- I know many people won't agree with this one but I felt that Almunia made a string of top-notch saves. Without him, we could have conceded even more.

Clichy-8- Mr Consistent... what can i say? I'll put my money down on him as the best LB in the Prem at the moment. Suffered a terrible challenge that reminded me of Birmingham February but luckily it's nothing serious.

Gallas-5- A pretty horrible display from the captain. He needs to improve his attacking of the first ball and his aerial ability. Was partly to blame for the Bolton goal.

Toure-6- See above except that he's vice-captain.

Sagna-6- Not the greatest display from Sagna... understandably a little unsettled when moved to the LB position but he coped OK.

Denilson-8- I'm not a fan of Denilson but with more performances like this one, I just might start converting! He played an excellent game and his presence and dictating of play has improved tremendously. Still a little wasteful of simple balls but he is still young.

Fabregas-7- Finding his form after the lethargic display against Kiev. The channel for creativity in this team. Hopefully he finds his peak soon.

Song-7- An assured performance from Song. While he is no Flamini, he has the desire to push forward and contribute which is something I admire. Was unlucky not to nick a goal.

Eboue-7- Wow... what can I say... Emmanuel Eboue scoring doesn't happen very often but with more displays like this, I feel a little more assured about our right wing... Bravo Eboue! A commendable performance.

Bendtner-7- A solid performance by Nicky. Did well to finish off the goal. His physical presence upfront is clear and surprisingly he linked decently with Adebayor.

Adebayor-6- Not his greatest performance in an Arsenal shirt but his work rate was tremendous as is his link play with the rest of the team.

SUBS

Walcott-7- A smooth performance by Theo. He seems to be getting better with every game and his pace caused many problems for Bolton. A real gem in our team.

Djourou-5- A very shaky performance by Djourou in my opinion. Fullback is clearly not his position but I admire him for giving his all and trying. I think he has the potential to be a terrific Arsenal centre-back and I hope to see him in the line up in the Carling Cup tomorrow night.

Ramsey-6- Had some nice touches and is getting some great Prem experience.

Pork Trotters and Firing Gunners

Remember this? I sure do! The last game we played at the Reebok was a mixture of anger... frustration... hope... and joy. Was it just me or did anyone else notice Fab4 crying his eyes out after scoring the "winner" last season. He's really Mr Arsenal at the moment isn't he? Tonight though, we face a rather different prospect- a Bolton team that is just....I dunno... pure shite. I don't think they've had a decent game yet...bloody hell, they got beaten by some Northwhatsitcalled town a couple of weeks ago in the Carling cup or something like that... TEAM NEWS: Well Samir Nasri hasn't managed to shake of that niggly thingymabob that he picked up a couple of weeks ago and it seems like Micky Mouse Silvestre has only been bought to provide some company to Diaby, Rosicky and Bitch-off in the treatment room. Other than that things are looking up! I'm looking forward to seeing Carlos Vela play tonight... is anyone else? I just love the kid, he's kinda like the little speedy Gonzalez that can just tear up the big fat cat of Bolton. Arsene said that there would be a couple of rotations tonight cos it's the third away game we've played in a week! I'm looking at a team that could look like this : ALMUNIA, SAGNA, DJOUROU, GALLAS, CLICHY, EBOUE, FABREGAS, SONG, WALCOTT, ADEBAYOR, BENDTNER with Vela making a good 25-30 minute cameo towards the end. I think we're pretty free-scoring in the league right now... 7 goals in the last two games is clearly an indication of a team high on confidence and while the Kiev result might have gotten a couple of players moody (Gallas cough cough), I think the team will take it like professionals and continue their impressive league form. 3-0 to the Arsenal.

COME ON YOU GUNNERRRRRRRRRS!!!!

Chicken Kiev

Hey guys, I've decided after a gazillion months of debating to start this Arsenal blog because I need an outlet to rave, rant, glorify, support and talk about everything Arsenal, the greatest club on the planet.

Anyways, cutting to the chase, we played Dynamo Kiev two nights ago and what an absoute shite game it was. The game was pretty boring to tell you the truth. Arsenal couldn't really get their engine going and the chickens from Kiev really did play like a bunch of fucking cocks in a fight. Half the time I couldn't decide whether we had a rugby or football game going on- poor Theo was getting "destroyed" according to Wenger. Well he had the last laugh didn't he? After some terrible finishing from Ade, RvP and Fab4, Theo bombed down the right and produced a lovely little low cross that beat everybody (I honestly thought we had missed another fucking easy chance) but Gullible Gallas, who I thought played terribly the whole game, poked home a poacher's goal from close range. A refree who was mathematicaly inept pointed to some random, ridiculous amount of injury time and the mighty Gunners had to settle for a draw.

In all honesty the highlight of the game had to be this guy:

For the life of me, I really don't understand him! Last weekend, he 'fell' (dive cough cough...) to give us our third goal at Ewood Park. It was pretty clear nothing had happened to him yet the genious was writhing about like an earthworm who had just been... I don't know... smothered with ketchup or something. After being stretchered off, he's able to make the trip to Ukraine with the rest of the squad. Is anyone else smelling something funny... like a rotting tiger suit or something? But, but, we have to be fair and honest because good ol' Eboue has had a good string of performances over the last few weeks. He's no Nasri or Rosicky (when he is fit... like twice a season) but if Eboue can maintain his performance on the field (sans Olympic gold medal standard diving), it would be a huge boost to our title and cup hopes.

A Bolton preview tomorrow... stay tuned....